Monday, February 1, 2010

Troubled Introspection

 
These were pictures taken last week in downtown Juneau - one more of many examples to be found in this beautiful town of the ties this city has to its' native heritage.

Some random thoughts of a torn woman: 
1. I have (possibly - hopefully - maybe) found a home for me, my mountain-boy and my dog.  It meets all of our criteria for a rental - country living Out the Road, reasonably priced, rustic, room to breathe and move without being smothered by other people. In short, it's a beautiful house.  I will see it on Sunday, and I sincerely hope that it works out.  This house has the most potential of any "wanna-be-home" I have seen since I started looking online down in TN and then in person since my arrival in AK.  Almost afraid to hope too much......

2.  This job includes far too much reading between the lines.  Politics, personal agendas, professional agendas, power struggles, power grabs.  It is making my head hurt trying to figure it all out.  I don't play politics very well.  I don't enjoy it and I am not very good at it.  If this job does not work out, my next job will be that of a dog walker in BFE-rural-someplace-USA, and that will be perfectly fine with me....

3.  I miss my United States Air Force son - he who is so tall and strong, but at the end of the day, he who is also still my youngest child.  This is his second tour of Iraq in the past two years.  I have only seen him twice in the past two years.  I am proud of him.  So very proud.  And I miss him..... 

4.  I miss my oldest boy - the recently graduated professional student who lived just down the road from me, and who I saw only rarely while living in TN the past few years because he was so busy living his busy life.  But it didn't matter.........he was just down the road, we have ultimately been bonded for 26 years now, and we both knew that if either one of us needed the other, we were ultimately just a phone call away.  I miss him.....

5.  I miss my Retired-Cop-Mountain-Boy.  Neither one of us is young anymore.  Neither one of us has a history of success in relationships.  Neither one of us was looking for yet another opportunity to play the part of an actor in yet another failed relationship.  And neither one of us thought when we first met that our chance encounter would turn out to be what it has turned out to be.  The relationship of a lifetime.  I miss him too.....

3 comments:

  1. Hopefully this rustic house in the country will work out.

    I had lunch with one of your former colleges today, she is amazed at the picture's your taking.
    We missed you being at Ming's with us, it wasn't the same without you. No one went back for third's. ha ha

    About all these political game's at work; tell them I said they better play nice......you won't be alone up there much longer, and I'm like Santa , I'm making a list as to who's been naughty, or nice.

    Just so you'll know, your Mountain Boy misses you......and so does your dog.
    Love Ya Doll.

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  2. I love your blog and photos! My husband is interviewing for a job in Juneau, Alaska. If he is offered and accepts the position, we will be moving from Charleston, WV to Alaska, I have expressed the same feeling I have seen in your blog. I worry about the big change and the people we leave behind. Will be like the city? Can we get all of our stuff there and find a nice place to stay? I am excited about the possibilities.

    What an adventure!

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  3. Nikki,

    Good luck to your husband. I hope that you guys make it up here. The adventure of a lifetime.

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