Willing the Sun To Shine

I struggled to get out of the office late this afternoon, so that I could take a few more pictures before I completely ran out of daylight.  This is my favorite picture from today - taken downtown and looking across the channel to Douglas Island

All morning I was holed up in an office completely focused on crunching numbers.  After doing this for a couple of hours I finally looked up from my papers and calculator, looked out the window and saw BLUE SKY!!!  I dropped everything, grabbed my camera and rushed outside.  The mountains behind my office were in full glory and completely beautiful.  When I looked across the channel I could see the sun trying....trying so hard....to burn off the fog that still almost completely enveloped Douglas Island.  I walked across the street to the wharf, and started walking on the pier - taking pictures as I went and willing the sun to stay strong and burn off the fog.  Juneau was completely sunny, but Douglas Island in the end only partially opened its' skies to the sun today.

DOWNTOWN JUNEAU

A raven - a bird that is as common in Juneau as the crows are in TN

The mountains behind my office

A painting on the side of a downtown parking garage

DOUGLAS ISLAND

The fog was still thick but the mountains were visible

And one last picture at last daylight (people were laughing at me as I was standing in the middle of the road taking the picture - playing tourist)

Today has been a strange day internally for me.  I love Juneau.  I really do.  I have lived in 5 different countries and visited many more, and I have never seen anything as beautiful as Juneau. 

Juneau trails, Juneau water, Juneau mountains all speak to me, call my name, and to a great extent even comfort me. 

But there are issues that work on me every moment of every day.  Housing is expensive.  Finding a home even to rent is a challenge, mostly because of my 4-legged child.  Very few people want to rent to someone who has a dog.  But 5 1/2 years ago Jamie found her way to me after someone abandoned her in the country in TN close to my home.  She is not without her issues - some of which annoy me - but we have accepted and love each other, we understand each other, and she is mine, so she has to be a consideration when it comes to where and how I will live in this new adopted town.

There is little room in and around homes in Juneau - the nature of a land-locked town surrounded by steep mountains.  Can my TN dog, so used to a large fenced-in back yard in TN be happy with so little room to roam in yards in Juneau?  Can the trails make up for the lack of space in any home we will rent?  Is renting the best way to go?  In this economy?  In this employment market?  With me in such a new job?  Should we buy?  Most importantly, would I be able to sell that house if we needed to move again?  I'm not sure.  Houses stay on the market a long time in Juneau.  Is not owning a home - or owning a home with little property attached - the price people pay for living in this most beautiful of places?  Is that the price I want to pay for living here?  Again - I'm not sure.

I am finding it difficult to settle into Juneau.  My job, in this market, is unsettling.  My living with a colleague then living in a hotel is unsettling.  My inability to find a home that I can picture me, my mountain-boy-retired-cop and my dog living happily in is unsettling.  Right now I feel like I am just.........here........but not really here.  Just an observer looking at Juneau from the outside in.