Is The Sky Big Enough?

While I was walking around town yesterday I took these pictures of boats in the harbor.  The smaller weathered ones are so much more interesting than the big shiny and sleek ones:

This afternoon I explored a trail within easy walking distance of the condo where I am currently staying (and tested out my running legs for the first time in a few months) .  Within 5 minutes I found this:

When I first started searching for another job I applied for positions in places like Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota - places that were wide open - Big Sky Country.  I wasn't sure about Alaska, and especially wasn't sure about Juneau Alaska.  The rain, the clouds, the fog - being socked in and land locked.  Not exactly what I had in mind initially..........

But when I stood at "the point" at the end of the trail this afternoon and saw mountains 360 degrees around me, and when the waves were screaming against the shore as the winds increased, and when I walked through the pine trees the last few feet to the end of the point and when I could only see mountains and water everywhere I looked, I thought that maybe the sky is big enough in Juneau Alaska.  Maybe.   

I think maybe the sky is big enough for me. But I wish LC was here so that he could see it.  If it's not right for one of us it's not right for both of us.  That was the pact.  That was the promise.  I know that you will read this and I want you here.  So I can know if it is right for both of us.  So I can know if we can both be happy here.  And make a good life here.  I love you and I want you to see this place.

Right now Alaska fits me OK.  I will be staying at the condo with my colleague for another couple of weeks, and then staying at an extended stay hotel downtown.  Close to work, close to Douglas Island where I want to ride some of those outrageous hills, secure and clean.

Negotiations on the house in TN have finished and we agreed on terms and a price.  If it appraises OK we might just have a sale.  I will miss my house.  I only owned it for 2 1/2 years.  My first home after my second divorce. The place where I regrouped with my Jamie-dog.  I will miss my house but there is nothing really left for me in that town so it is time to move on. 

I turned down a house for rent on Douglas Island which was a very nice house but very close to other houses in the area.  Right on top of each other.  I'm not sure it was the right decision for me to turn it down because it was close to the hockey arena, the bay, the park, the south trail, the library, my job, and mom&pop restaurants.  And it was only a few minutes from every trail on Douglas Island.......I'm not sure.  But it was so closed in.  But maybe there's nothing better that we can afford in this most-beautiful-sticker-shock-ridden town.  I'm not sure.