The Butcher In Auke Bay

I have been growing my hair out ever since I arrived in Juneau and it was starting to get pretty long.  I liked it that way, but it badly needed trimming, so on the spur of the moment this morning, on the way into Juneau, I stopped at a hairdresser in Auke Bay.

I told her that I wanted a trim, and she proceeded to butcher my hair, and now it is curlier and shorter than it has been in years, and I absolutely hate it. 

I didn't know whether to cry or kick her ass.

I told her that I had come in for a trim, that I hated what she had done to my hair, and that I would not be coming back.  Ever. 

And then I went outside to the car and melted down.

Who cries over a haircut??

Not me.  At least not usually............

I started to drive towards Juneau, intending to go to work for an hour to smooth out the feathers of one of my employees who called me this morning.  And then I planned on going further into town to try and catch some of Celebration - the native Alaska dance festival that has been going on in Juneau for the past couple of days, and which I walked right by in a hurry the other day on the way to one more time consuming and predictably unproductive meeting. 

I got as far as Vanderbilt and turned around.  I just didn't have the stomach to go into Juneau today..........

What the hell was going on with me?

I was very disappointed that because of such a lousy haircut, I was not going to look the way I wanted to look when I met up with LC in Ketchikan.  But it was just a haircut.  My hair will grow back.  I was spiraling down.  What the hell was going on??

Everything that I've been sitting on for five months came bubbling to the surface because of one bad haircut.  Leaving LC and my dog and my house and my son back in Tennessee.

Staying with a colleague for three weeks that I did not like, and living in someone elses' home that was not mine.  Living in a hotel, not having a car, looking for a place to live, learning a new job, not knowing where anything is, losing a full-time staff person, trying to do two jobs when I am still getting a grip on one job, working a lot of hours, worrying about LC, not being able to sell the house, worrying about money, wondering how LC and I will fit together again once we get back together, and on and on and on.

I have to fight - sometimes hard - to keep everything held tightly under control.  Most of the time I can do that. 

I guess today I was not able to do that.

I bought groceries at Walmart and then went home.  Hating my hair.  Mired in worry and frustration and a headache. 

And then I spent a couple of hours weed eating and then taking a nap.  That was it.

How I spent the first Saturday I have had off in a few weeks.......

Random pictures taken downtown a few days ago.