When I woke up this morning my dog was laying beside me watching me and I smiled at her and told her good morning.
When I looked out the bedroom windows the sky was partially sunny and partially cloudy, and it looked like it might turn into a cold but half-way decent day.
A good day to take Jamie for a walk at the Boy Scout Trail Out the Road.
I drank coffee, watched the news, spoke for a few minutes with LC who was on the road again continuing to drive further away from me.
When we finally got dressed and ready to go I walked with Jamie down to the car, and knew as soon as I hit the automatic door lock to let Jamie into the back seat. My battery was dead.
I drove the car all week except for yesterday when I took my truck to work.
I think I have battery cables underneath the seat of my truck. I think.......maybe.
Regardless, and I hate to admit it, but I don't know what color goes to what, so whether I have cables or not I am going to have to bother one of my neighbors and ask for help getting the old beast started again.
And perhaps think about buying a newer and heavier duty battery..................
****
LC and I used to have an expression that we good naturedly threw at each other over both big and small things that came up in our lives.
Don't fuck with the system.
It got to the point when I was getting closer to 50, when my boys were both raised and out living their own lives, when I looked at my unfulfilling and dead-end work and tried without success to imagine still being in that same job until I retired - another 15 years.
And then talk about searching for a new job and building a new life together out west. Big Sky Country.
And then an opportunity for a new and interesting and exciting and potentially rewarding job seemingly fell into my lap and I moved to Alaska. And then WE moved to Alaska.
We fucked with the system..............
****
Once I realized that the car was not going anywhere until I gave it some loving care (and maybe a hard kick in one of the back tires) we grabbed more keys, started up the truck and headed Out the Road.
After my mistake of last week I made a point, while the sun was still shining, to stop at an overlook for a few minutes to both enjoy the view and take a picture of the Chilkats.........
As much as I love my dog - and I love my dog - I wish that LC had been able to take her with him.
She now spends a lot more time alone than what she is used to.
And I think he needs her.
Watching out the window while I stopped at the overlook...........
My truck, that has not been washed since she left Tennessee..........
The Boy Scout Trail is located before Eagle Beach and unlike almost every other trail in Juneau there is no sign on Glacier Highway telling people where it is. It is one of those place where you just need to know where you are going.
The first trail mile is up and down open gravel, and is easy to walk.
There are beautiful views of the mountains and Eagle River and Eagle Beach visible through the trees along the way.
The Boy Scout Trail is a well-loved community trail and is widely used because it is easy to walk and has beautiful views, although as with all trails at this time of year foot traffic has gone way down and it is once again a quiet place............
****
One day a few months ago LC said something that I thought was very interesting.
While driving he looked over at me and said
"You're easy to love but hard to catch"
Ever since he met me I have been on the move - travelling to races, travelling to training events, running, biking, paddling, getting injured and then reinjured, organizing training events, flying to interviews, flying away from him..............
****
Views seen along the trail.
No bird or plane or wind sounds, only my feet on the gravel trail and Jamie's heavy breathing as she struggled against the leash to pull me along faster............
Beautiful Eagle Beach across the river............
After a mile or so of walking on gravel double track and being surrounded on both sides by dense pine trees, the trail suddenly opens up completely.
One moment you feel as though you are walking in isolation on a trail and the next moment you walk around a bend and there are the Chilkats and the channel and the first signs of the beach.
It is always a stunning moment of promise for a walk that will turn into a spectacular and beautiful time in the out-of-doors............
****
I spent five months in Juneau alone before LC arrived.
There were a number of false starts and unexpected delays in his arrival - potential sales of the house that ultimately fell through, home repairs, concerns about my job, fully booked ferries.
During that five months I spent time finding my way around town, finding my way around my job, finding a house, buying things for the house and at-the-time temporary transportation to get back and forth to work.
In short, trying to build the start of a home here in Juneau while LC closed up a home back in Tennessee.
I was alone but did not really feel lonely.
And even though we were 4000 miles apart I felt closer to him during those five months than other relationships I have had in the past when we were both in the same room.
Not together. Just sharing the same space............
****
The last time I was here was early in July and the entire area was completely filled with abundant and so very beautiful wildflowers.
No more flowers. No more growth for this year at all.
But wonderfully beautiful in a different and quiet and more subtle way...............
Across the river you can see the picnic shelter where LC, Chris and I bar-b-qued fish late in the evening.
Now that I think about it, I took this picture at just about the same place where we saw the black bear from the shelter..............
By the time Jamie and I had been out for 45 minutes or so I was keenly aware of the fact that I had underestimated the cold.
My hat was warm enough.
I had two layers of clothing and a rain shell on top but could have used one more layer.
I had a pair of heavy canvas pants on but could have used one more layer.
I was wearing two pairs of socks and my Xtra Tufs but would have been warmer in those dead-sexy insulated and water-proof boots I wore the other day.
And I chose mid-weight gloves this morning (thankfully not the lightweight ones I almost grabbed) before leaving the house, and should have chosen a heavier weight set that I have.
In short, I was not freezing, but for the entire time that I was out on the Boy Scout Trails this morning but I was definitely cold.
A real motivator to not dawdle too much, and to keep moving..............
****
Why am I here?
Why am I in Juneau?
I love this place.
Alaska suits my love of cooler temperatures.
It suits my love of mountains and water and trees and animals and everything related to being outdoors.
It suits my outdoor gear, outdoor clothing, rugged outlook and lifestyle.
But why am I here?
I came here for a job, for adventure, for less people and more nature, for freedom.
I found much of that.
But I work in a snake pit.
There are good, accomplished, supportive people that back me to the hilt.
But I work in a snake pit.
There are agendas and politics that sometimes feel too big to overcome.
I have questioned that aspect almost right from the get-go and that has never changed.
I wanted to do my job, go home at the end of the day and live my life.
It remains to be seen whether that can or will happen.
Why am I here?
A still unanswered and still unanswerable question...............
****
But at least for today this was why I am here...........
There is a fork in the trail at the pole in the center of this picture.
All of the times that I have been here I have always veered to the right, heading directly towards the beach.
Today, with the summer season over and the Boy Scout Camp shut down I decided (yes, on the spur of the moment) to head off to the left and see if I could find and scope out the campsite.
Still more beautiful pictures before I wandered off onto a new and unexplored trail.............
This young couple were walking with their beautiful black lab.
Their big friendly dog walked towards me and Jamie and as he got closer I realized that he was carrying something in his mouth.
As they all got closer to us I realized that the dog had a can in his mouth with a couple of punched holes in it, and his owners smilingly informed me that he was carrying around a can of tuna that he had found on the trail.
Big black pup was proudly walking with his treasure as he passed Jamie and I...........
LC is a good and decent and honorable warrior who has lived a life that most others cannot possibly relate to.
He is a proud man.
And after living a life that has been hard on both psyche and body, an isolated town with no ability to drive out (no fast or reasonable exit strategy), and a body that now makes it difficult for him to walk and bike and paddle....yes........to catch me........was hard on him in many ways...........
****
The Chilkat Mountains.
My mountains..............
No comments:
Post a Comment