Saturday, December 22, 2012

Winters' Human Condition

I've been neglecting this blog for a few weeks now for a number of reasons.
Money has been tight, the weather has been cold, we have not traveled far, and both LC and I have been hunkering down safely beside the wood stove inside our small cabin outside of Cody.
And in truth I have had writers block.
I downloaded these pictures earlier in the week, but when I went to blog about them there were no words.
And so it went the next day and then the next.
Just pictures surrounded by a white screen that was silently waiting for me to hit the keyboard and fill it with.........words.
This time of year is very difficult for both of us, and both me and my beloved Mountain Boy struggle every day to stay upright.
Shock and anguish have transitioned into depression and great sadness, and we battle both of those things every day as well.  It never goes away.
I'm tired of crying.
But we keep trying and there is nothing else we can do but that.
These pictures were taken.........I'm not even certain when.  A few days before the last snow storm we had, so sometime last weekend.
On that day the weather was freezing cold but the only snow around Cody was that which was left over from a previous snow fall weeks ago, and which was still hanging stubbornly to the shade and crooks and crevices of hills around town.
As we drove east towards the tiny community of Frannie we were both surprised to see snow on the ground and ice hanging like Christmas lights from the trees.
About 20 miles from Cody the world looked entirely different, and when I saw the tree above I asked LC to pull the truck over just so I could take a photograph of it.
It was a magical, beautiful, wonderful solitary tree whose still-remaining leaves were covered in ice crystals
There's no wonderful or exciting story attached to these pictures.
We just went for a drive on a cold and beautiful day, both of us needing to move and needing to be outside................

Taken behind a gas station in Ralston just outside of Cody.
While LC took care of business I walked Jamie so that she could do the same.
Behind the gas station there was already more snow than Cody, and yet we were only 10 miles outside of town.
BLM hills were dusted with snow, and were partially obscured in haze.
One lone brown and white horse grazed close to us, lifted his head briefly when we unexpectedly appeared from around the side of the building, looked at us for a few moments and then went back to grazing....................
I had asked LC to stop the truck in the middle of nothing and nowhere, just so I could take a picture of the tree at the top of the page.
While he and James stayed in the warmth of the truck I snapped pictures of the solitary tree and then stood regarding the world around me.
The world was silent. 
There were no vehicles passing us by, no geese frantically realizing that they were late to the party and had better hurry to get their butts south, no fast moving military or private planes leaving long white jet streams in the blue sky, no wind trying as always to knock me off my feet.
There are very long stretches of only empty highway in Wyoming.
Stretches where there are no homes, no towns, no corner stores or tiny gas stations.
Only emptiness. 
BLM hill, pasture, bad land emptiness.
We were now in one of those long stretches.
I snapped pictures of the scene in front of me as I stood beside the truck, then walked to the back of the truck and then the drivers side of the truck, snapping pictures as I went.
As I suspected last year (but did not have a chance to really find out before heading back to Tennessee) BLM lands are beautiful covered in snow...................
We actually picked Frannie for our trip because we had seen a small and humble piece of property there for sale that we thought may have possibilities for a more permanent place to live.
It was nasty and we quickly disregarded it.  We'll stay where we are.....thanks anyway.
Before heading back the way we had come LC turned down a side road, curious to see what was down it.
As with most of the trip, what was there was a whole lot of beautiful nothing, and that was fine with me...............
Spring, summer, and fall fill us with hope; winter alone reminds us of the human condition.........Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

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